LEARN FROM THE WISDOM OF OTHERS WHO HAVE HAD EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCES TO COPE WITH THE LOSS OF YOUR LOVED ONE
|A BOOK OF HOPE|
You can cope with the death of your loved one by learning from the experiences of others who have managed similar losses. Millions of people grieving the death of a loved one often encounter an experience which helps them deal with change and reinvest in their life. However, it is commonly dismissed by family, friends, and some counselors as an artifact of grief or a product of the disorganization and anxiety of the grief process. Yet the experiences contain much insight and wisdom for all.
Click here for podcasts featuring Dr. Louis E. LaGrand
It is my mission to validate and affirm, to nurture and inspire those coping with the death of loved ones.
(Dr. LaGrand's newest book Healing Grief, Finding Peace: 101 Ways to Cope with the Death of Your Loved One is available for order at your local bookstore or through this website. Also available in Kindle format.)
(His newest workshop is: "Differences in Mourners Who Adapt Well and Those Who Have Long-Term Difficulties in Coping with the Deaths of Loved Ones." To schedule this workshop for your organization email firstname.lastname@example.org.)
This site is designed to normalize the extraordinary and recommend it be used to help the person who has the experience--as well as those who have yet to confront it--mourn in a healthy way. These powerful events benefit the bereaved and their caregivers by restoring hope, giving comfort, and opening up a whole new way of looking at life and death. The issue is not where do these experiences originate but the significant fact is they do happen for a purpose, and the focus should be on how we can benefit from them.
Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved will help you:
*Become more aware of the ways others know they have received a sign or message from a deceased loved one or a divine being.
*Choose to pray for a sign that your loved one is okay.
*Discover how to use extraordinary experiences as a continuing bond to cope with your loss.
*Find out how to help others cope with the death of a loved one.
*Develop a strong inner life.
*Realize you are loved forever, and it is necessary to develop a new but different relationship with your deceased loved one.
RESPONSES FROM THOSE WHO ENCOUNTERED AN EXPERIENCE
As a certified grief counselor, I have interviewed scores of people who are convinced they have had a sign or message from a deceased loved one. Most view the experience as a positive occurrence, and accept it as a gift for healing. In the 30 years I have studied the phenomena, what is clear is those who have an extraordinary experience know they have connected with another reality. It is as meaningful as the physical reality they live and grieve in each day. It is important to honor such a profound experience, examine the mystery surrounding it, and use it in adapting to loss and change.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What are Extraordinary Experiences?
Extraordinary Experiences (EE's) of the bereaved is an exciting new field of research focusing on a variety of events in which a person believes he or she has been spontaneously contacted by a deceased loved one. Researchers have coined the term after-death communication (extraordinary experience) to describe the whole range of the phenomena that occurs. It is important to emphasize the living person is not actively seeking to make contact with the deceased. The experience does not in any way involve a psychic or invoking the deceased. Instead, it is the deceased (or some believe a supreme being) who seems to reach out to the bereaved and in doing so provide much-needed solace and comfort. Again, the EE happens spontaneously, without warning.
When do these experiences occur?
Although a contact experience may happen at anytime, it commonly takes place when one is grieving the death of a loved one and often becomes the basis for the bereaved person to accept the loss and to re-engage in life. Here is an example. In a small upstate New York town, Rosalind Hill-Tandy was reading the newspaper as she always did late in the afternoon. She was also grieving the loss of her second husband. Suddenly, she smelled the unmistakable scent of Brute, the cologne Vince used to wear. Yet none of his after-shave lotions or powder were in the house. Then Rosalind clearly heard Vince's voice saying "Rozz, there is no time to waste." She interpreted his message as reassuring that she was doing the right thing and he was still concerned about her.
Who has the experience?
These extraordinary encounters happen to people of all races, creeds, and social status. They commonly bring comfort and healing to the mourner.
HOW EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCES HELP
Although the phenomenon is widespread, its potential as a resource for coping with the death of a loved one is hardly known. A number of things have consistently been overlooked by those who have not had the experience, and are unable to grasp its impact on grief work. The experience helps the bereaved accept the loss of the loved one (a major task of mourning), and re-invest in life. More specifically, the experience meets two of our basic human needs: affection and connection with our loved ones. The EE suggests we are always loved by and connected to the person who died. Continuing bonds are normal and healthy. If you have an extraordinary experience, share it with someone you trust, and use it as a gift to accept change and provide meaning. Much can be learned about mystery and the unknown will change your perspective on life and death.
LOVE CLEARLY LIVES ON AND YOU CAN LEARN TO HELP YOURSELF OR A FRIEND COPE WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE
Berkley books, a division a Penguin (USA), released: Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. It is also available in an eBook edition. This is a book offering comfort, reassurance, and hope in the face of sorrow. It is for anyone mourning the death of a loved one as well as those who provide support for the bereaved, whether family, volunteers or professionals. You will learn how to use seven wisdom lessons gleaned from the extraordinary encounters and integrate them with the following nine proven survival skills that have been used by millions to cope with the death of their loved ones.
Develop Your Ability to Grow in These Nine Areas
1. Communicate, relate, connect (Find a grief companion.)
2. Discover and grieve your secondary losses
3. Express what is within
4. Do something - Take action
5. Start new routines and traditions
6. Go outside of yourself and strive to be more loving
7. Trust mystery and the unseen
8. Open to the relaxation response without guilt
9. Learn to shift your inner focus
"Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." --Robert Collier
"Meaning makes a great many things endurable--perhaps everything." --C.G. Jung
"The first duty of love is to listen." --Paul Tillich
Dr. LaGrand's latest book, Healing Grief, Finding Peace: 101 Ways to Cope with the Death of Your Loved One, was released by Sourcebooks in mid-October,2011.